(B. Andersson / T. Rice / B. Ulvaeus)

THE RUSSIAN is attempting to defect. CIVIL CERVANTS in the Embassy are unimpressed.

CIVIL SERVANTS

(to each other)
Oh my dear how boring
He's defecting
Just like all the others
He's expecting
Us to be impressed with what he's done here
But he
Hasn't stopped to think about the paperwork
His gesture causes.
We've an embassy to run here
If these people can't strike blows for freedom
With a valid visa
We don't need 'em
If we seem offhand then please remember
This is nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had since last November
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?
And when he's safely in the West
He'll be the hero to discuss
The media will lionize him
Fame and fortune plus
No one will recall it's
Thanks to us

(to THE RUSSIAN)
Have you an appointment
With the consul?
If you don't we know what his
Reponse'll
Be, he will not see you, with respect it
Buggers up his very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it
Far too many jokers cross the border
Not a single document
In order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights it makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin Wall for
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?
And when you've filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed, debugged, dedrugged, disarmed
And disinfected please
Don't forget the guys
Who cut your keys